How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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nbjhfghl

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Mmmm, donuts

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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