A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Pianca going ham

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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69

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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A homeless person dies.

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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