Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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