What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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George W. Bush

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

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I love you.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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