3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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There is a car full of black people.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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barack osama

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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