Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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i wish i was a tree !

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Penis

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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