"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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justin littleton. nuff said

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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I am a real homosexual

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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