I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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newt gingrich

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops