Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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I dislike old people.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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Child Prostitution.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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