Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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Women rights.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Fruitcake

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops