Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

thumb_up thumb_down -13

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

marble

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When is a joke funny? When you read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops