...and I'm a Mormon.

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noodles

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What did the man with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops