A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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