Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

Fruitcake

I'm gay. Great me too.

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

Women rights.

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

Shit.

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

a banana

what is patrick wilson? smart

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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