Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

Women Drivers.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

Haha pizza

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

Fruitcake

women's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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