what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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What break when you talk?

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Exactly what?

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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