What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops