why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

What's brown a sticky? -A stick

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

69

Knock, knock. Come in!

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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