A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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I love boobs

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Women's Golf

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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Josh kissing a girl

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Women

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Indeed.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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