Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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a black father

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a boy comes to a girl and ask : do you like vaginas ? and she says course not your dumb ass and he says then give her to me *troll face*

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Your doorbell is broken.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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