husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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i heart wiener

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What did the man with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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