Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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Noah is Smart.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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