How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

I like boys!!!!! CC

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

Anti jokes are funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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