Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

Herman Cain

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

Women's Golf

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

Obamacare!

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

Oliver's friends

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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