How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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Penis

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Write your own

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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a black father

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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