A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

Goat balls.

Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

Brett Farve

I've got the moobs like jagger.

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...