When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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A man buys free health care...

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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...Jack Vale

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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You're so straight!

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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