How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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The geese of Growmore

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Knock Knock Come in!

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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josh simpson has cancer

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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