Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

Herman Cain

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thomas hall= fuckin dikc

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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