Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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