What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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I LIKE TURLES.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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