Noah is Smart.

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

this website...

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

A bar walks into your mother.

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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