How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Your life That's the joke

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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