What's not red? No tomatoes.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops