An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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the WNBA

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Windows Vista

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Penis

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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S.O.P.A

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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