How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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Bing

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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A man walks into a bar.

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A van drives into a car.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops