What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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lewis bedford

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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a black guy leaves prison

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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Roses are red, stones are gray, this poem is obvious, YOU DONT SAY??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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