Whoa! A talking carrot!

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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God.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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I love boobs

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Exactly what?

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the WNBA

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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. Deez nuts Ok

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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