Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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Knock knock! Yes?

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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