What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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69

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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