Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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ruddell and dodds anal

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Why Because

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Haha pizza

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Roses are red, stones are gray, this poem is obvious, YOU DONT SAY??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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