There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops