For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Pickle!

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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newt gingrich

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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