Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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I LIKE TURLES.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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