What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

Jasper sucks.

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

penis

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

I can't think of a joke!

Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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