Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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The WNBA

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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