A baby seal walks into a club.

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

the WNBA

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

Men's rights

two fish are in a tank.

Rebecca Black sings a song.

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

Icecream

Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

The glass is half an hour.

http://www.ladsta.com

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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