Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Jew returns change.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

123456789

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

alcoholism kills

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

thumb_up thumb_down +107

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

thumb_up thumb_down +63

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops