what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

Noah is Smart.

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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