What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Herman Cain

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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i have 2 penises

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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Obamacare!

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops