What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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There is a car full of black people.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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