A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Herman Cain

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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