Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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you are gay

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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Come in

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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