Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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A man walks into a bar.

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A van drives into a car.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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Y2K

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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knock knock Come in.

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The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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