"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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GooglePlus.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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You're so straight!

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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