A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Sea World Japan.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Potato salad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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lewis bedford

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25

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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